Not Guilty

I'm tired of being torn
at d face of small decisions
i'm wired to be alone
these times of my mind's derisions

i wanna b peaceful
not challenging myself all the time
no conflicts for once
my sanity is solely mine

no i'm not guilty
a verdict today, i pronounce myself
im not suppozed to be
caretaker of feelings of everybody else

im sick wondering what everyone wants from me
my hair,my clothes,my whims
needing approval
always squirming in my own skin

labelling myself
titles from ur vocabulary
tired of being what u want
from now on,i'm just gonna be me

no i'm not guilty
a verdict today, i pronounce myself
im not supposed to be
caretaker of feelings of everybody else

no im a not third rater,
no im not useless
definately not abnormal
and im not selfish
no where being lazy
i am confused yes
amused how much
i let you make me such a mess

no im not guity
a verdict today, i pronounce myself
but i am guilty coz
i havent loved myself enough!



Dr. Manvi Gupta 2012