To My Guardian Angel...

My guardian angel
where are you?
give me a sign
so i know
you're right here
by my side
i long for you
to touch my life
come and
rescue me
from this darkness
release me
from my chains
so i can
stop carrying
the world
on my shoulders
embrace me
and hold me close
so tight
that i merge into you
and hide
whisper slightly
in my ears
the answers
i'm craving to hear
who is my god?
what is my belief?
what is my tragedy?
what is my passion?
why this affinity?
to pain and drama
when will i
step out of
the snapshots
and see the panorama?


Mani 2013

I Grieve...dedicated to Bua.

i'm sorry
i couldn't bear it
i couldn't cry...
i couldn't sit still
i just walked about
and worked
till i dropped dead
at the end of each day
as if it would stop
the inevitable from happening
as if
everything would be alright
pretending to be strong
only succeding to feel
strangely numb
tears would prick my eyes
but i would nudge them back
deep inside...some recess of my soul

the few moments
i managed
to hold your hands
to look into your eyes
i hope you felt me breaking
you heard my heart weeping
and even though
i was caged inside myself
i hope you felt me
reach out to you
somewhere...somehow...

and now
with each new day
i grieve...
every molecule of me...
it hurts
to feel
the emptiness of you
to know
i can't physically
touch you...
or hear your voice...
and no matter
how hard i try
i can't quite
turn back time
so i grieve...
in the only way i know
i dont know how
long will it go on
i guess life and time
will teach me...

I pray
you're in a comfortable space now
your're warm and happy
always smiling
your beautiful smile...
May god bless you
and hold you close
i want you to
know...
i love you
i miss you
i remember you
i hold dear in my heart
your thoughtful gestures
that light up my memories
your fragrance
that lingers
your afterglow
that heals me...


Mani 2013