The girl with the Golden Crown !

She said i was beautiful

never had she seen me frown

She said i'm the girl with the golden crown

She said i was always smiling

and so would the people around 

She said i'm the girl with the golden crown

She said i was taking life so gracefully

True happiness would always surround

She said i'm the girl with the golden crown

but she didn't know

that in my quest for freedom

I had managed to get bound

the weight of the world
on my shoulders
had been wearing me down

the gold enthroned upon my head
had been slowly turning brown
if only she knew, I'm the lost girl, who was never found...

distant...

I need to be distant

I need to be away

I need to be detached 

I need to let go

I need to stop giving in

I need to be alone 

I need to be strong

I need to stop acting like a love- hungry puppy

I need to stop putting blind faith on the unknown

I need to stop forgiving when not deserved

I need to stop opening my heart to anyone and everyone
I need to stop depending on others
I need to stop expecting from others
I need to stop hating myself for my flaws
I need to stop hurting
I need to stop drifting
I need to stop needing
but i need -
to save my hypersensitivity
to be responsible
to be reasonable
to safeguard my dreams
to protect my vulnerability
to heal myself
to preserve the spark of divinity within
to count my blessings
to be eternally grateful
to be selfish and self-centred
to throw out what i dont need
to be committed to myself
to face the world
to face myself
to earn my place
to run for my life
to learn to tolerate my own company
To be distant...
To stop needing others
and need only myself...

Thank You...

whoever you are...
where ever you are...
whether you run the show from up there
or you operate from within us all
whatever you put me through
whatever you blessed me with
which ever crossroads you took me to
whenever life seemed to hold still
you were flowing
you were guiding me
you were holding my hand
you were nurturing me
you were loving me unconditionally
you were teaching me all i needed to know
i accept it all
i appreciate it all
i value it all
i offer to you my eternal gratitude...

Decide

every time
someone Else

Decides...

to Stay with me
to Walk out on me
to Give-In to me
to Give-up on me
to Push me
to Hold me back
to Steer me to "Self-proclaimed" right
to Avert me from "Self-loathed" wrong

someone Else
Decides...

how i must Not deceive
the very trust i Doubt
how i must be True to my promises
even if they no longer hold any Meaning

someone Else
Decides...

"Whom" i must love
"How" and "How much"
the last memories
i would be left with, to hold on to...

but people barely
Realize...

Try as i might
to hear the voice inside
i don't seem to have Earned the right
to Decide for my life, in their Eyes...

and Sadly enough
i Suspect they're Right...

???

who am i right now?
who was i sometime back?
what did, everything i did till now, mean?
what will, everything i do from now on, mean?
who and what will i transform into?
will i understand who i become?
will i recognise myself?
will i be able to love myself
will you...???

short-Lived

taste of Happiness-
short-Lived...
bout of Excitement-
short-Lived...
spark of Life-
short-Lived...
rush of Blood-
short-Lived...
desire to Desire again
short-Lived...
a glimmer of Hope-
short-Lived...
basking in Inspiration-
short-Lived...
daring to Dream-
short-Lived...
the promise of Forever
short-Lived...
but Pain-
Everlasting.............