afraid

afraid to walk ahead
i might break my bones
lest i fall
afraid to run back
so in the meantime
i prefer to crawl

afraid to look up
my overambitious expectations
might crash onto me
afraid to stoop down
my insatiable guilt
might suck up my very being

afraid to mute down the voice within

incase i lose all touch 

with my reality

afraid to connect with my spirit
incase it takes over
completely

seeing which,you,whom i dearly love
would try desperately to
and fix up the underlying defect
failing which,you might manage to
understand me a little
but its something you'd never be able to accept

afraid of giving into your emotions
or getting carried away by my whims
to end up being fooled
of succeeding without you to celebrate it with
else losing the battle
to be ridiculed

crouching in the middle
of the crazy road to survival
afraid to reach either side
i wait to be run over
by time and consequence
so i never again have to decide

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com