i know

i know now...
how much you have hated me
all this while
you would disallow
the pursuit of my passion
like an unspoken vow


far more than my ability
you've been scared of
my vulnerability
motives i forget to consider

threats and dangers

i'm unable to decipher

you'd want me to stay cozy
in my comfortable cage
to keep me away
from the war
you were sure i'd lose
if i set out to wage

afraid of seeing me
preyed upon
by the big bad world
that i might be
caught unprepared
for the troubles unfurled

my safety
more precious to you
than my wistful freedom
while i wondered
for the lack of conviction
what wrong had i ever done


with all your life
you would do just anything
to protect me somehow
all this while
how much you have loved me
i know now...




© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

heal

if  i'm ever asked in my life
about my relationship,most valued and real
then it would be with none other than my own writings
a testament of handpicked lessons,
timely revealed
apparently mere artisticly driven expressions
to reassure my solitude and heighten my zeal
but i'm rather a tool for their purpose through which
it is me, that they truly heal

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

sarcasm

unfamiliar to the concept of entrusting faith in one
capable of even evoking an awakening spasm
for tackling the most valued people in your life
sad to see,you rely mostly,on your sarcasm

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

your words

your words, dont seem to mean what they say

they rhyme in contradiction to our theme of care

laughing amongst themselves at my foolish innocence

your words,dont sooth,calm or prepare

they attempt in vain to subtitute my peace

rather they clearly confuse

for actions undone,promises unkept

your words are a mere,noisy excuse

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

Pushhhhhhh

You pushed me into what i would make of myself one day
 as i squirmed into a template,prematurely designed
You chased me from one phase of my life to the other
with no space to grow under the shade of time

You directed me to revolve around your axis
physically,practically and emotionally
the only things i own now is a heavy bag of fears,
mistakes,wrong decisions and insecurities

You pushed me out from your womb into the world
and now that my wake up bell has rung
i hope i can have the liberty to decide,as and when
to push out every trace of weight from these lungs

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

-------

i am grateful for the day
i have no restless thoughts to write
no technicolor dreams to dash
no starlit hopes to ignite

to the guy up there,running the show
i want to take this moment to thank
that amidst all the greys and blues
we have some blessed moments,simply blank

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

Graph

i wonder how,while soaring so high
plunges so low sometimes
the baseline of my graph

perhaps these times
at life's subtle satire
i simply, forget to laugh


© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

Unnamed

i was born abruptly
long before i was conceived
a lie,hated,lived
eventually believed...

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

The Best Revenge

The world has hurt me
bit and ripped me apart
i have bled enough already
nothing's left of this heart

i have had a wound carved
bold in every loved one's name
but it is only now that i understand
the twisted rules of this vicious game

there's no more monstrous anger
that i desire to lash out
i shall save it for my parched pride
to feed and dissolve all self-doubts

i shall remove
every torn memory long saved
soothe it with peace risen from its ashes
and bury it in its righteous grave

so this is my best revenge
if i brush past any long lost painful deed
i will sing out the songs sprung from my deepest anguish
smile,walk by,unblemished and freed.


© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

Call to me...

i can feel your warm caress
losing me to your wilderness
i can hear you in my breath
filling me through my emptyness

call to me
when the sun goes down
my longing dances to your sound
call to me
when the night is new
i wait my love
i wait for you...


© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

Same

i cant translate straight lines somehow
i like to take a detour
in my eyes,getting lost
is the single best way to explore

you like your life mapped out
a blueprint designed with someone else's ink
you'd rather stagnate than alter situations
till they drive you to your brink

i'm different,you're indifferent
but we're really quite the same
suspicious of change,slaves to our fears
equally helpless,mere pawns in the bigger game.


© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

War within...

i nudge away the future
i get drawn to the past
i forget,nothing waits
that nothing ever lasts

vapours of clarity
spill into the palette of doubts
i fear the very people
i cannot do without

By now,i dont mind losing
no longer do i care to win
just hope for the hush of tranquility
to prevail upon the war within...


© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

Unison

As i ache for you
in the glowing rain
i kneel down and pray
so i may somehow keep sane

does it even matter
what anyone says
i know you exist
i know its me you await

to take someplace surreal
a blunder of creation
somewhere along the  horizon
of reality and imagination

i feel you stirring at the pit of my stomach
as my voice rises from my lips
i feel you breathing in my womb
as my hands carve out the words you let slip

come tear me apart
wrench out the world i once knew
drain every drop of me
leave no molecule unflooded with you

hurt me enough for me to drown in peace
love me enough for me to yearn to die
tempt me to want to make my mistake again
as i stand proud in the face of the greatest lie

lets celebrate our tragedy
lets grieve to our fragility,undeterred
lets dance to the music of our unison
one, that will never be heard.......


© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

Perfect

He was always the blue eyed boy
to my awestruck eyes

He was the winner before the battles began

none to my surprise

everything he touched 

turned into gold

try to be like him 

i was told

i couldnt understand

things simply complying

opportunities falling into his lap

without him seemingly trying

i was sure his lucky streak

would go on forever

till i saw his world spin

one fine day,altogether

i had been foolish

i had been blind

comparing our diverse fates 

thus being unkind

i realised life takes just a mini second

from its apparently sureshot path to deflect

i realised no one's life

can ever be Perfect!

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

tears

tears are beautiful

they remind you of who are

they gently nudge you to love yourself

they flow out of your eyes into your soul

watering your parched soul

sowing the purest care and concern

from your own fragile,innocent heart
all just for you

tears are beautiful

they remind you 

even in your worst moments

you are not alone...

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010

Freeze

hey
where r u rushing to
i
i'm just following through
looks like
neither of us
has a clue
where we're heading

there is
none of you while hurrying
but then
so much of you while worrying
having you
is so precious
losing you
is all i keep dreading

i like to walk
beside you

but you always
seem to march ahead
what will it take
for you for once
letting me decide
our pace instead

and i say- Time
please wait for me

you can win the race later

let me first catch some speed

there's just too much
on my plate
where are you going
hey,hold on wait

and Time
please slow down for me

you can wear me down later
first let me breathe

just for a moment
lets feel the cool breeze
relax now,smile,there,perfect








and Freezzz...

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010  www.manvigupta.com

Nothing good ever happens after 3 am ! ;)

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

So much to do and so little time !!!

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

My personal website www.manvigupta.com is now online!!! yipeee!! :)

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

Best trip home ever! :)

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

Today,i got a much needed,long overdue haircut after years!! feel liberated somehow!

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

i am

i am...
perhaps
a soldier
distrusting my arms
a sage
incapable of keeping my calm
a mystic
unsure of my powers
a free spirit
caged in lost hours
a dreamer
scared to fall asleep
giver of promises
that i cannot keep
a visionary
hesitant to tread on a new path
a strategist
uncertain of the aftermath
a gambler
anxious of taking a chance
a realist
living in a permanent trance
a wanderer
reluctant to head for the unknown
a leader
dreading to walk alone
a rebel
fearful to question
uneasy to peep into
my own reflection
unsettled about  my past
afraid of my future
wary of myself
as much as of any other
awkward to be happy
aquainted with pain
terrified of making
the same mistakes again
an explorer
yearning to discover new world's
but unwilling
to even leave my room
desperately seeking
the sanctuary of bliss
seemingly heading
to the asylum of doom
i am though
the tempest itself
that has brewed up
passions galore
i realise
i am as much
the north star
that shall guide my ship
home to placid shores.
what ever hurdles
life designs in my plans
i shall endeavour
to do the best that i can
a tireless Warrior
determined to stand strong
that is truly who
i am...

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

Remember

cant Remember
when we parted
what it was like without you
being broken-hearted
cant Remember
when we found each other back
feels like you never left
as if we continued without any gap

you were always here by my side
though being many geographical miles away
watching over me like the sky above my head
so i could never step wrong and lose my way
nodding your head at my mistakes
hoping one day i'd see clearly through the blurred
the value of what we had once found and lost
while sending me your care unsaid yet heard

cant Remember
when exactly things started to go wrong
when did we decide to quit trying
and agree to move on
when we figured it was best to stay away
than causing so much hurt to one another
i think we gave in to our ownselves
but never gave up on each other

maybe thats why our precious bond
continued to stay strong
without ever letting us know
it silently carried on
invisible threads connecting our souls
intuition guiding our actions through
pulling us into the universe of oneness
two diverse aura's taking on the same hue

cant remember
what it was like
when you hadnt yet,quite
touched my life
but now forevermore i'm truly glad
that i can no longer recall any such things
my heart only seems to Remember
the joyful times you bring :)

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

Finally got Ma to read my blog,so thrilled,feels like a huge achievement! Thanks Ma,means the world to me! :)

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

afraid

afraid to walk ahead
i might break my bones
lest i fall
afraid to run back
so in the meantime
i prefer to crawl

afraid to look up
my overambitious expectations
might crash onto me
afraid to stoop down
my insatiable guilt
might suck up my very being

afraid to mute down the voice within

incase i lose all touch 

with my reality

afraid to connect with my spirit
incase it takes over
completely

seeing which,you,whom i dearly love
would try desperately to
and fix up the underlying defect
failing which,you might manage to
understand me a little
but its something you'd never be able to accept

afraid of giving into your emotions
or getting carried away by my whims
to end up being fooled
of succeeding without you to celebrate it with
else losing the battle
to be ridiculed

crouching in the middle
of the crazy road to survival
afraid to reach either side
i wait to be run over
by time and consequence
so i never again have to decide

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

Abstract Painting

An Abstract Painting,

Oblivious,
to what it was
conceived to evoke;

Hanging onto
some meaningless wall;

Trying to camouflage
somehow into

a starkly loud background.
Lines
crashing all over;
Patterns

repeating and criss crossing
for no good reason;

My real self
blotted by ink drops;

My fancies
absorbed by the canvas;

My future washed up with
ornamental tones;

Etched by a brush
steered by a hand ,

i will never know or recognise;

To manifest some absurd theme

no one can quite understand.

Bold impressions some places
otherwise blank spaces.

What were you thinking

my Master Painter?

How many times
during this creation

did you change your mind?

Were there
any dreams in your eyes?

Did you dilute
my thoughts too much?

Did you spill in
too many Blues?

Looks like you accidently
mixed Black with White

for its become all Grey now.

Sometimes your brush moved
way too harshly;
Sometimes so delicately

as if to caress me;

Sometimes it barely seemed
to touch me at all.

You chalked out
Starry nights
that silhouetted to reveal
Light Blue skies.
At times,
you simply painted
the grass far Greener
on the other side.

You carved the Scarlet letter
on my heart,

and then schematically
Varnished it
with some sweet Baby Pink
childhood memories;
Cleverly contrasted
with a,hard to forget
Incandescent adolescence.

So now i turn White

at the thought
of starting afresh,

Pretending
there are no layers
beneath this coat.
I realise-
My lines
can be coloured

can be covered

but cannot be erased;

My basic texture
can falter

can be altered

but cannot be fazed.
I wonder
what will your genius
create next?
whilst i marvel at
your flawless craftsmanship.
I admit,sometimes
foolishly enough,
lost to the obvious shades
from your palette;
My being doesnt realise
it is the embodiment,
the breathing Canvas itself;
the fortunate beholder
of your artistic expression;
The small yet significant part
of a greater Panorama.
And thereafter i see
the Blacks,Greys

even the Blues

blend beautifully,
in perfect harmony
into a luminous Gold
ever-enriching
mystical Masterpiece.

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

I'm 25 today!! one quarter of my life over!! :) you know what that means? means its time to pour the next round,the next quarter please! ;)Cheers everybody!

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

Justified?

Do you think its alright to not tell her
why is there something that you need to hide,
to keep from her,what's really going on
Is it in any way justified?

Do you think she will never come to know
her intuition wont hint to her of the times you lied,
how long can you carry on this way
how long will you take her for a ride?

Can you imagine what would happen the day
truth shakes up her peace and pride,
how would she ever trust you again
and how ugly you would feel inside?

How will you restore her faith back on you
how will her insecurities subside,
you might somehow tie your threads back together
but what will you do of the knots that appear alongside?

You say you cannot leave her
that by now its already become too complicated
but its not going to get any simpler from here,is it?
and the social reactions that you're scared of are just too overrated

You say you  cant help carrying on,either
and that you have really, truly tried,
but think again before hushing your knowing heart
my friend,the answer is right there inside.

Do consider,if its good to continue what you need to keep under wraps

or if its better to admit that your relationship can no longer survive,

whatever you decide,tell her before someone else does

before your companionship loses its final chance to thrive.

I know that life seems unfair to you
that somewhere you feel emotionally deprived,
but looks like life hasnt been any kinder to her
to the both of you,so far,the beauty of love seems to have been denied.

And i know its no ones fault really
maybe some things just arent meant to be,
so unlock all the meaningless chains
and reflect if its time to set both of yourselves free.

I know you find yourself at this weird juncture
when your can feel each others love and hate collide,
but life's too short to waste in fighting with yourself
and happiness cannot for long be mechanically implied

So treat her as your friend for once
confide in her if you think it would be best to part.
so you both may have another chance at real happiness
to move on in life and make a new start.

In the end i want to render this thought to you
that if something is gnawing you somewhere inside...
then things are definately going not so great
and its time to take another good look at life.

This once and  forever more from now,live life just the way you want
doesnt matter what the world thinks,set all that aside,
but whatever you do,my friend,to your own heart and soul
let your actions always be justified...


© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

CHEERS to LIFE ;)

Just when we all think
ahhh i have figured out life,

it throws us off the cliff.

Just when we think

we're feeling down and lazy,

it wakes us up with a kick.

Just when it seems 

we're all sorted out,

it pops up a newly designed issue to sort.

Just when it seems 

life will be smooth from here on

it gives us a nasty jolt.

Just when it feels

we're all settled now,

it takes our job away.

Just when it feels

we're above everyone,

someones's there to deliver a slap on the face.

Just when we need

to reach somewhere on time,

its sets up a traffic jam.

Just when we need

to feel we know exactly what to do,

it turns upside down,the entire plan

A roller coaster ride

that we like to enjoy,

at times we fall off

and scratch our sides,

sometimes we scream on

with excitement and dont give a care,

at times we wait in horror

for it to turn off the scare.

And just when we realise

we've found all the answers,

it throws us a brand new question.

Maybe thats exactly the mistake

it isnt to be figured out at all,

rather allowed to be completely random.

Because just when we crib

the day just could'nt get any worse,

a stranger smiles so warmly

and restores back its worth.

Just when we complain

about losing a cherished belonging,

it surprises us many days later

long after we have stopped looking.

Looks like when we take it for granted

life says what the heck!

when we imagine things to be forever

its gives us a reality check.

Its our buddy,we should simply raise our glass to,

and savour its mysteriously brewed wine,

say CHEERS to LIFE aloud !

go to bed and sleep off just fine ;)

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

Just Hold Me...

No bunch of flowers
No exotic sunsets

Nothing's as divine,

your hand in mine...

No crazy presents

No fancy restaurants

Peace i cant define,

your hand in mine...

Its been so long

so many things going wrong

kept my heart away from you

kept me from hearing it too

Want to drown out all the noise

say out loud what i always knew-

Let our silence unfold me

so Baby just hold me...

No useless chatter

No melodrama

A little quiet time,

your hand in mine...

No more analysis

No tangled conversations

All things fall in line,

your hand in mine...

Its been so long

so many things going wrong

kept my heart away from you

kept me from hearing it too

Want to drown out all the noise

say out loud what i always knew-

Let our silence unfold me

so Baby just hold me...

So steal some moments

Tiptoe in the lane

Hum our favourite song

Whisper out my name

Listen to the sighs

Hush away my fear

Smile upon my shyness

As i slip a tear
dance to our dreams
See our eyes shine
Play with my hair

Let fingers entwine

My head on ur shoulder

Your hand in mine

It was always you,my heart told me...

So Baby just hold me...

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

Lets Smell The Rain :)

Can hear the thunder

calling out my name

Can sense the lightening

coaxing my window pane

Can see the trees

holding out their arms

telling me to breathe

shed away my qualms

Now there is the wind

knocking on my door

there's no use resisting

cant hold it anymore...

So lets smell the rain

Be children again

Run around in vain

Act all insane

Splash up the puddles

Forget life's muddles

Quench out our souls

Plug all the holes

Let go of all control

No pain left to console

Dance away the past

Coz nothing ever lasts

Drench ourselves clean

Live a brand new dream;

So lets smell the rain...

and SMILE once again :)

Can see my surroundings

suddenly transform

The fragrance of the earth

turning the senses on

Nature rejoicing

The clouds playing games

Colours shining brighter

nothing is the same

All the dust melting

away from every surface

Rocks,roads or hearts

now nothing can escape...

So lets smell the rain

Be children again

Run around in vain

Act all insane

Splash up the puddles

Forget life's muddles

Quench out our souls

Plug all the holes

Let go of all control

No pain left to console

Dance away the past

Coz nothing ever lasts

Drench ourselves clean

Live a brand new dream;

So lets smell the rain...

and SMILE once again :)

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

SandCastle

You were no gallant prince

and i was no banished princess,

no white horse to rescue your lady

to enchanted wilderness.

This was no technicolor movie

there was never any magic

no happily ever after,

it was destined to be tragic.

Wasnt you who made the wind,blow

wasnt you who made it rain,

wasnt you who made the sun,shine

was you though,who planted the pain.

There was no reason to think

you'd stand by me when all hell broke lose,

you were a coward who took the first ride home

when you got the bad news.

This was no fairytale

there would be no forever,

perfect combination,i was foolish enough

and you were adequately clever;

the kingdom we built

the world we designed,

was nothing but a sandcastle

easily swept away with the tide.

It was a frivilous pursuit

to weave myths to my dreams,

took you no time to join back the real world

leaving me in entangled sumwhere in between.

You left without giving any answers

so i dug holes into my conscience,

desperately finding faults with myself

but now its all begun to make sense.

'

After ending my internal quest

and snapping out of my rapture

i realised,you had painted a mirage

which had no inkling of a future.

There was no reason to think

you'd stand by me when all hell broke loose,

you were a coward who took the

first ride home when you got the bad news.

This was no fairytale

there would be no forever,

perfect combination,i was foolish enough

and you were adequately clever;

the kingdom we built

the world we designed,

was nothing but a sandcastle

easily swept away with the tide.

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

Forgotten but Not Forgiven

Thought i had forgotten you
thought you didnt exist anymore
Thought my life waz getting sorted now,

from long being helplessly twisted.

I did'nt realise what had crept in,

till i saw the pattern,

how was i to know,

you had befriended my own satan.

Now everytime i bring myself down,

i hear you laughing,
pulling me down under,

till i hit rock bottom.

You live in my evils,

the times i act mean,

the times i judge others,

and my thoughts are unclean.

I thought i had just lost you,

but there waz more to that,it seems,

with you left my pride,my confidence

and my esteem.

you conveniently dwell,

in my favourite memories,

when i looked and felt my best

and later unconsolably grieved.

You've gnawed me into my core,

i'm so hollow inside.

There's no place anymore,

for someone else to reside.

You live in my weaknesses,

situations when i feel awkward,

the moments im in a dilemma

when i act like a coward.

The days i feel shaky,

and nothing goes my way,

times when i freeze,

or feel like running away.

You took what was best in me,

and left your worst behind.

I still want to be be the person,

whose picture you carved in my mind .

So many hitches grip me

as i sink into this mess.

You seeped in so deep,

that now i'm pouring of shallowness.

You stole into my shadow,

there was no where to hide,

how far could i run from myself

carrying my own demolition inside.

You kept feeding my failures,

and eventually consumed me,

then with the final blow of your desertion,

you made sure that you doomed me.

but today i'm taking back your powers,

my psyche dat,you toyed with,on useless basis.

Throwing out your ideas,your impact

every bit of your demonic traces.

No longer can you dictate my dreams,

no longer can you rob my sleep,

wont run after the the image you drew,anymore,

i'm throwing out everybit of you dat i keep.

I want to be who i was,

as if you never came

as if i never felt your presence,

and never called out your name.

To love myself without any judgements

as i did before,

to finally be free of you,

and now you can be sure-

To no more insanity,

shall i allow myself to be driven,

someday,you will be forgotten,

but surely never forgiven.

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

Nothing but the Truth...

Nothing but the truth

is all that i dearly hold

Life isnt going to be easy anymore,

az i took this pledge,i waz told.

Blood dripped everywhere,

tears lined my road,

as i paved through my life,

holding my double edged sword.

It either hurt my neighbour

or thrust through my own heart

It brought me closer to myself

from all else,it drew me apart.

Everything came for a price

the price i wasnt willing to pay

It would be simple if i bowed down to the world

but it never came to that day.

Countless failures buried,

some victories unspoken

After many dark endless nights

i have risen,enlightenedly woken

I stand here today,

ready to walk on ahead

With a smile upon my face

and my feet on the burning coal bed.

Life iznt going to be easy,i know,

as i wait for the next moment to unfold

Still nothing but the truth

is all dat i dearly hold.

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

My First Attempt at sketching after 10 long years!!

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com

Hello Sunshine...

Hello there! :) today after a very long time i have gotten up (and out of my bed)early, with the "hey look,its still dawn" consolation inspite of it being 8 oclock oready n ticking... n add to that,giving myself the excuse of

"awwe,wat the hell,u cant expect me to get up earlier than this,i hardly slept last nite"n az i rub my eyes open half in disbelief at the impossible feat i waz a luking to attempt n the other half coz my eyeballs were tugging at my eyelids n coaxing them back to their rightful shut position,swear,it really happens that way..u think im kiddin huh? ahhhhhh...now that my eyes are finally in d "hold it,great,freeze" commandment, i now see what i have been missing all this while...peace....n thus my peaceful day starts with a massive fight with........with my............self ofcourse...what were u thinkin see we have single beds here n my roomie'z r outta town,so cut out the wink u were gonna gimme n concentrate on my story.....hmmm so d dilemma was whether its a good idea to actually leave this nice cozy,comforting cocoon of mine....while im clinging helplessly to a small heating pad between my knees n hands simltaneously....hmmm 2 minutes n counting...ohh get up it would b great to catch the morning before it slips away.....awwwe cmmonnn u slept at 4,wats d point of gettin up n having ur head groggy all day,reminding u of ur foolishness for d rest of d entire day....so 3 minutes slip away,n i remember to call up n wake up a friend (can u imagine i made such a promise when im gettin up at 2 o clock myself for last nearly entire..errrr i wont say how long..my parents might b reading this!!!)...awwwe why do u have to make such dumb commitments....n dammit,u cant break promises....awwe ok,i'll make a 2 minute call n go back 2 sleep...yeah that makes sense...ha...my friend will b impressed n im sure i wud promote a commited image of mine...ok here i go...wake up buddy...(n lemme go back to my sleep!! see what i huge favour im doing to you,one that i never even do for myself!)....my friend had been up half an hour back....oh hell u cudve messeged me n let me know yaknow!!!! i cudv slept 3 more anxiety free minutes...dont u see how precious the time rite now is,so much for selfless friendship...anyway....so where were we,hmmm to sleep or not to sleep in this warmmm fuzzzyy cozzy,"pulling me deeper into its covers,promising me deep dreams" bed of mine!!!oooo

n i think az i do every mornin az i open the door for the cleaning lady,what is "d bloody good reason"for me to get up so early after all,its cold n foggy n im on leave!! n....but surprisingly today i do have an answer......hmmm a very dear friend said last night dat it has been paining him to see how i havent been taking care of my health n my sleep,when i so easily can....ummm well buddy i cant let u down,ur words mean so much to me n so do the eloquent words of another dear friend telling me to "godammit catch some goddamn sleep for god'ssake" n hey wat the hell,last afternoon,i registered to have a my own blog for the first time in life...oooo im gonna design my own page,yipeeee,n wow it says my own name,rite here as its address.....ooo im squealing now...what am i gonna write about....awww who cares.....no ones gonna read it anyway,errrr still, what am i gonna write about....cmmon its ur first piece of blogging.....still who cares..... my excited,restless fingers just waiting to break loose from my hand to run to the keyboard.....theyve been empty all this while....havent written for soo long now,i started when i waz a kid,since the age of nine....with dry soul patches which wud extend for long mute years....hey stop ur sob story,its boring n no one wants to hear it...come back to the happy,inpiring article....yes yes where were we....so well i hold my groggy "post hangover like" head in my hands,threatening it to get rid of the stupid ache n decide to give "gettin up" a "lill try,just for today...errr...just for now...errr...lets just see what happens.....

hmm what shall i do first,got a great idea!! so i get outta my room(still threatening my head to get better!) n walk up a few steps to dis sacred, "very less visited at this time of the day place"n here i go.........morning pee..........ahhhhhhh iz there a better feelin......ahhhh....az i feel a shiver,n my feelin less n less cold with every second.....ahhh i repeat iz dere a better feelin than this? hah divine...hmmm now what..oh yes milk....i wont get it after another 5 minutes.....run.....gosh i realised that people actually stand in such a long line for this everyday......they look at me n think....oh how come her majesty haz obliged them with her presence.....correction....they think nothing,who has d time....oh im just imagining things....my guilt iz taking its sadistic revenge from me...i stand in the line....hey wait a minute everyone has got their own "specially picked up by themselves" tea/coffee mug!! r u gonna use d stupid glasses!!....hmmm wat bout d que.....chuck the goddamn que,n get ur ass moving....hah im getting my own mug...u all,jus wait n see...i announce to the entire crowd.......in my own head of course...so i run up to my room,these r the rare times i thank god for my room being on d first floor....ahh mug outta d drawer....here we go...n jus before i leave,i open the curtains...ahh the sunshine(actually....theres none,therez only fog dat i can see n not see,maybe i shudve called it " Hello Fog on my first morning thingy day") i stand by d door to steal a few seconds to smell my cup.....hmmmm its smelling of d lovely camomile tea my ma sent me....dat i snugly had lastnite.....warming my freezin hands...in my lovely cuddly dudly bed....oh not d bed again,focus Mani,focus... u wont get milk standing here any longer......run... jus a few minutes left..... i enter the mess this time with my head held high,beaming with my "specially picked by ma n not exactly by me" mug....n get the milk n choose my table...ahhh warmmm milk in my hands.......wat a feelin....ooooo... thinkin hmmm dere iz sumthin called az "breakfast" for which these silly people stand in the que for every morning pushing n nudging while every minute theyre gettin late for work,n how conveniently such a concept doesnt exist in my world! hmmm i ponder some more on that n it strikes me....hey i shud get my newspaper n little bit get to know what the hell is happening in the rest of the world,so i get up quickly n wash my "much hyped n written bout by now" mug coz i still want it to retain sum of the last nights aro"ma"...sigh..)...i hop along to get me the paper......looking at the dhobi n newspaper guy,with a "bow down to me,fellas" smile! n they smile back,handing me over....not an award but the newspaper bill...errrr....happens...keep smiling,keep up ur poise...continue walking back with ur chin up.......reach d stairs n .....run up....ooooo wherez my laptop???cant wait to get my hands on it....no... no wait.....light the lamp first.......awwwe ok,ur rite......so i do dat n for d first time officially thanking god,my parents,my dear friends me for tolerating me n not disowning at times of great temptation to do so ......okay,done....keyboard here i come.....no no stretch a bit first.....awwe all right,but ur bugging me now......ok quick...done...keyboard....come to mama!!! noooo read d paper,Mani ur a pain...(my lovely family n friends would happily agree to this one).ok quick luk at d headlines...the only relevant news i found waz that theyre allowing prepaid phones in my state...phew..finally we're out of the dark ages n yipee,byebye monster phone bills,n hello more money savings... for useless but nonetheless exciting shopping parades!! n no opening facebook first thing u log in !! just focus on blogging for now,stop nagging,will ya.ooooooo let me put on sum nice music....to inspire me to write sumthing good...ummm how about the piano piece ive fallen in love recently....oh kay,u tube n bingo...i have this lovely music playin......on d endless "drive me nuts till it comes out of my ears" mode...ahhh nice...hmm i think i wont use the earphones....i dont wanna miss the "nearly gone,fast approching afternoon, mornin sounds"....so now i can hear this nice piano piece with special horn harmonies by the traffic n an occasional tweets of birds....(not the tweets in twitter silly,dats d word n sound we stole from the birds).....n man am i thankful for being able to hear some lazy birds like me even at dis hour coz else my conscience would have nudged me to stop fooling around n to rename this as i "Hello( Overhead n therefore its afternoon,no point writing this piece of crap)Sun"...

Ohkay so after all this fuss what shall i write about........ummm........errrrr.....n some "scratching my head sounds" later i realise that....errrr since i have no masterpiece ideas( i know u want to kill me...having been reading so far along by now n expecting atleast some useful thing to come outta dis so u wudnt start cursin urself now)...errrr lets jus write about today n now( coz nothings else is coming to my head) n ofcourse coz ive kept an inspiring title...n errrr i should, yaknow sorta take it forward from there....right...yes...n also so whenever my head hurts n i curse myself for "what the hell waz d need to do the im so health conscious so i get up early drama"...i'll show myself this page (which iz hurting ur head now!!)...n tell myself....seeeee this iz why i got up see......n hmmm lets see, wat else will i tell my cursin self.....think....think....errrrr....and.....ofcourse,not to forget the fact that ive taken a new step towards unscrewing my throughly screwed up life n sleep.....hah there i have it now......n now before u applaud me n urself for being so positively inspired by this apparently professing"rise n shine" article,let me tell u my brilliant observation......this piano piece sucks man,its bugging me now....yawn.....n i have run out of anymore "mini-no good stories" to tell u.....yawn...n .....so after reaping all the benefits of the d beautiful morning n nature...yawn...lets all get back in the bed....yawn...n catch sum nice refreshing sleep...yawn...az i am going to....after keepin u all up reading this,haha,gotcha!! ......hey im kidding.......cmmon im not hittin the bed now after all this.....atleast im not dumb enough to write dat down...(even if dats what i eventually do!)hey i got a image to take care of here !!!!(n oops there are two missed calls by my sweet friend to check if ive slept back oready after letting him know that his inspiring words had actually worked!!)....drats.....so much for my image!!!

well on this note,goodbye everybody,good day....n oh about the message conveyed by this "morning thingy article".......errrr ....i dunno man,i'm bored myself by now....just do what u feel like...each one to his own.....yawn..... ;)

© Dr. Manvi Gupta 2010 www.manvigupta.com